Does He Ever Get The Girl?
by jenevolves
Summary: Maria leaves Roswell
1. This Ruined Puzzle

This ruined puzzle

Spoilers:  "Cry Your Name"

Author's Notes: thoughts

                        all lyrics are by Dashboard Confessional (check out their website at [www.dashboardconfessional.com][1])  and are in __green italics

                        chapter one song: "This Ruined Puzzle"

This ruined puzzle is beige 

_With the pieces all face down_

_So the placing going slowly_

_The pictures of anything other than it's meant to be._

_ _

_ _

Maria shut the door silently behind her.  She took a deep breath before turning to look at Michael.  She knew this was going to be the hardest thing she would ever have to do.  This would be harder than finding out about their "Destiny", harder than—

"So are you going to talk to me, or just stand there with that dumb look on your face?" Michael said, interrupting her thoughts.

The crushed look that took over her beautiful I features softened his mood.  He got up and took her hand.  He knew she had taken Alex's death a week before really hard.  They all had.

With a deep breath, she finally began:

"I'm leaving."

He just stared at her, his mouth gaping open.

"See, the thing is, since Alex...died, I've kinda been re-evaluating my life.  We had always talked about going to LA with the band after graduation.  Well, I'm not getting any younger, and I know now that life can be taken away at any second.  So, I'm going to LA alone, because my life and dreams can't stop because Alex isn't here to share it.  I know he would have wanted this.  And I also know that this is what I need to do."

Michael didn't think he could process this, but finally chocked out a question:

"Alone?"

She smiled through her tears, because she knew what he was really asking.

"I wish you could come too Spaceboy.  But we just spent the last week convincing Isabel not to leave.  You know as well as I do that the four of you cannot be separated."

His face flushed with anger.

"That's not what I was asking.  I wouldn't want to leave anyways.  I just figured you wouldn't be able to cut it by yourself.  Maybe the rest of the band should go with."

Maria took a shocked step back.  She looked angrier and more wounded than Michael had ever seen her before.

"That is such bull Michael Guerin.  Like you haven't been itching to get out of Roswell your entire life.  If you don't care whether I live or die, fine; but don't feed that shit."  She took a deep breath.  "Whatever.  I don't have to take this anymore.  I'm gone."  She spun around and stormed out the door, not even bothering to close it behind her. 

She didn't even look back.  Michael thought miserably as he crumpled to the couch.  We didn't say goodbye.

_But the hours they creep,_

_the patterns repeat._

_Don't be concerned, _

_you know I'll be fine on my own._

_I never said "don't go"._

_ _

Michael couldn't believe he had been so stupid.  He just let her walk away from him.  Hell, he had basically told her to get lost.  She was going to hate him forever.  And probably never talk to him again.  If she left, it was going to be all his fault.  And there was nothing he could do about it.  Or was there?

She won't even talk to me now, I'm sure of it.  Plus, I'll just say something stupid and make her even madder.  Why can't there be a way I could tell her without making an ass of myself?

He stood up and began pacing around the apartment.  He tried rehearsing what he would say to her, if she would even listen.

But I know as soon as I see her, I'll freeze up and blurt something out.  No rehearsing can prepare me for the way she makes me feel.

That's when he saw the pad of paper on his kitchen counter. 

Duh.  Write her a letter stupid.

_I've written a note._

_It's pressed between pages _

_that you've marked to find your way back._

_It says:_

_ _

_"Does he ever get the girl?"_

_ _

As Michael approached Maria's window, he realized he was terrified.

What if she's already gone?  What if she rips it up without ever reading it?  What if she reads it and still decides to go?

But his inner voice quieted down a bit when he saw her in bed.

She looks like an angel. 

He opened her window quietly and climbed inside.  He stopped at the foot of her bed and took in every feature of her peaceful, sleeping face.  Focus man.

He looked around her room trying to decide where she would see his letter.  It didn't look like she had packed anything yet.

Maybe she changed her mind.

Somehow he doubted that thought.  Maria was the most stubborn person he knew, besides himself, of course.

He spotted her favorite Aromatherapy book on her dresser.  If she was still going, there's no way she could leave that.  He opened the letter and read it once more before slipping it between the book's pages.

                        Maria-

I know this is what you want to do, but I do wish you would stay.  I love you, even though it is hard for me to show it.  I was wrong to say I wouldn't want to go with you.  If I could, I would follow you anywhere.  But, knowing I can't leave the others, I can only ask you to please stay.  If not, I will wait for you forever.

-Michael

As he set the book back down, Maria moved in her bed.  Michael stood absolutely still until he was sure she was definitely asleep.  He walked to her bed, leaned over, and kissed her forehead.

"I love you Maria."

He stood there not wanting to leave.  And, as much as he hated to admit it, he wanted to memorize every inch of her in case she really did leave.

But what if the pages stay pressed 

_the chapters unfinished,_

_the story too dull to unfold?_

_ _

_Does he ever get the girl?_

_ _

_ _

Maria awoke with a start.  She was dreaming of the fight she and Michael had earlier.  She looked at the clock on her nightstand.  It was already 5:30 in the morning.  If she wanted to leave before her mom was up, she would have to be gone by 7.

She cursed under her breath as she looked around at all of the stuff she needed to pack.  She knew she couldn't take a lot, so she thought about what she would take on a vacation.

An extremely long one.

She pushed all thoughts and feelings of regret to the back of her mind and began packing furiously.  She had everything shoved into the Jetta and was about to drive away when she realized she had almost left her Aromatherapy book on her dresser.  It wasn't really necessary, considering she had it memorized, but it was creature comfort she wouldn't be able to live without.  She ran back inside, grabbed the book, and threw it onto the front seat next to her, never noticing the paper sticking out of it.

_This basement's a coffin,_

_I'm buried alive._

_I'll die in here just to be safe._

_I'll die in here just to be safe._

_ _

_ _

"Michael Guerin, you open this door right now, or I am calling the police and they will open it for me!"

Michael's eyes shot open and he groaned as he rolled over and out of bed.  Why was someone pounding on his door on a Sunday morning?

Maria  The thought flashed through his mind, and he practically ran to the door. 

If only it had been Maria.

"Hey Amy.  What can I do for you?"

"First of all, you can call me Ms. Deluca, young man.  Second, you can get yourself dressed."  He looked down and saw that all he had on was a pair of sweatpants.  "Then you can tell me where the hell my daughter is."

"You mean she didn't have work today?" he said, trying to act clueless.

"She never works the morning shift on Sundays, because we always have breakfast together.  When I got up, she wasn't in her bed.  I'm pretty sure some of her stuff is gone too."  Ms. Deluca looked like she was about to have a nervous breakdown.

"Well, I haven't seen her...she didn't leave you a note?"  He hoped that he wouldn't have to tell everyone.

"No, I don't think so...but I was in such a panic, I might have missed it."

"Tell you what.  I'll get dressed, and then we can go back to your house to look for some sort of clue.  If we don't find anything, we can begin looking around town for her.  The most important thing is that we don't jump to conclusions.  She's probably just upset about Alex and wanting some time to herself."

Please God, if you exist, let us find her.

"Thank you Michael.  I'm sorry I assumed she would be here.  But I can see why she likes you so much."

He wished that were true.  But he felt like he was going to pass out knowing the truth and not telling Ms. Deluca.  He'd rather just stay at his apartment and curl up and die.  Because he knew this excursion outside of his safety zone would only confirm his worst fears.  He took a deep breath.

"Ok, let's go find Maria."

'Cause you're gone 

_I get nothing_

_and you're off with barely a sigh._

_I never said "Goodbye"._

_ _

_ _

As soon as Michael and Ms. Deluca walked into the house, he knew Maria was gone.  It was like an electricity in the air had been sucked out, leaving only dull and empty air.

They walked into the kitchen, and both saw the note at the same time.

"How did I miss it?"  Amy whispered as she put her hands to her head.  "Why didn't I see it coming?"

Michael thought he was going to explode, maybe in anger, but more likely in tears.  This was all his fault.  And he could never tell anyone how much it hurt.

"We should read it," he said, hoping it wasn't too obvious how upset he was.

Mom-

I'm sorry I had to do this, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.  Sorry about the lame attempt at humor, but I'm trying not to cry.  I can't tell you where I'm going, but I'll be fine.  Please don't track me down.  I'll send you money to make for the Jetta.  I love you.  Tell everyone I love them too, and I will miss Roswell with all my heart.

-Maria

And that's when Amy Deluca collapsed.

I've written a note 

_It's pressed between pages_

_that you've marked to find your way back._

_It says:_

_ _

_"Does he ever get the girl?"_

_ _

_ _

Maria lay down on her garage sale mattress.  She had been here a week and thankfully had a job and an apartment.  Granted, they weren't the best possible, but she was going agent scouting tomorrow.  She figured if she got some TV work, she could be choosier about where she sang.

As she drifted off to sleep, she wondered how everyone in Roswell was holding up.  Were they worried?

Just pick up the phone.  It would be great to hear Mom's voice...or Michael's.

She missed Michael so much.  She cried every time she thought about how harsh he had been to her.  Not that she was totally without blame, but he hadn't even tried to stop her form going.

I never want to speak to him again.

_But the hours they creep,_

_the patterns repeat._

_Don't be concerned, _

_you know I'll be fine on my own._

_I never said "Don't go."_

_ _

_ _

Michael couldn't believe Maria still hadn't made any attempt to contact home.

She hasn't even called her mother; why would she call me?

It had been a month since Maria left.  And every day seemed worse to Michael.

Didn't my letter mean anything to her?  Maybe making me wait is her revenge on me.  She has to talk to me someday.  She has to.

"Does he ever get the girl?" 

   [1]: http://www.dashboardconfessional.com/



	2. The Brilliant Dance

Author's notes: I know

Author's notes:I know!Finally!Anyway, same format as chapter 1, all songs by Dashboard Confessional. (including Maria's song)Maria's song enclosed with ~ So this is odd 

_the painful realization_

_that all has gone wrong._

_And nobody cares at all, and nobody cares at all._

_ _

A year.It had been a whole year.And Maria had not made any contact, except an envelope with no return address, full of money for her mother.She had kept her promise to pay Amy for the Jetta.So, Maria was obviously doing well, if she could send that kind of dough.

Michael was not doing as well.In fact, he was worse than when Maria first left.

And today's exactly one year since she left.And nobody even remembers.

Max and Tess were too busy sucking face.Isabel was making an "I-want-to-throw-up" face in their direction, while Kyle was using a death-ray glare on the couple from across the Crashdown.And Liz—well Liz looked crushed, but Michael wasn't sure if it was because of Maria or because of Max and Tess.

He got up from the booth and took a seat at the counter directly in front of Liz. 

"Are you doing ok, Liz?"

She snapped out of the trance she was in, and looked at him like she was about to cry.

"I'm fine...just really tired."

"Liz, you don't have to pretend with me."

"I know, it's just hard to admit that I'm still practically obsessed after a whole year!"

Michael smiled a little at that.

"I know what you mean."

Liz's eyes widened with realization.

"Oh my God!I can't believe I'm so dense!I totally knew what today was, but I still blabbered on.I'm so sorry, I was being so selfish!"

"No, it's ok.At least you remembered at all.With everyone else it seems like 'out of sight, out of mind' is the rule."

"How are you holding up?I'm surprised you even came in, considering.I convinced my dad to give you the day off, telling him that you seemed very overworked lately.I didn't think you would have wanted to be around anyone."

Tears welled up in Michael's eyes.He tried to blink them back, but they threatened to spill even more.Liz's heart went out to him even more at that moment.

"Tell you what.My shift ends in about 15 minutes, so you go up to my room now, and when I'm done, we can talk."

Michael looked worried at this prospect.

"Stop being such a guy," Liz instructed, "sometimes it's better to talk about stuff.I swear!"

Michael nodded and said "thanks" as he got up to go.

So you buried all your lover's clothes 

_and burned the letters lover wrote, _

_but it doesn't make it any better._

_Does it make it any better?_

_ _

Michael walked into Liz's room and immediately spotted a picture of Maria.

Figures.

He decided he would probably be safer on the balcony.He climbed out the window and sat down on one of the lawn chairs.

He thought that the memories would fade.He put all of the pictures of them away, along with everything else that reminded him of her.That had put roughly half of his possessions in storage.It didn't help.

After about eight or nine months, he and Isabel tried to date.They thought maybe they could get over their losses together.But then Amy Deluca had received the money from Maria, and Michael had gotten his hopes up again.He and Isabel realized they were both clinging to the past that they didn't have, fooling themselves into thinking they could work.They broke up, just as heartbroken as before.It didn't help.

He went to Amy Deluca's house every day to help out.It was funny; he was an eighteen-year-old guy who hung out with his girlfriend's mom.

Ex-girlfriend.

They talked about everything, even the alien thing.Amy was surprisingly calm about it, like she knew all along.Or maybe nothing could shock her anymore.They supported each other, but it didn't help.

And the plaster dented from your fist 

_in the hall where you had your first kiss_

_reminds you that the memories will fade._

_ _

When he woke up this morning, he realized he couldn't picture her face as well anymore.All he could think of as he had lain in bed was:

I'm losing her.I'm losing the last bit I have left of her.

And for the first time since she had left, Michael cried.

When he pulled himself together, he knew what he could do to remember her face again.He went down to the storage room of his apartment complex and brought out ever box marked "Maria".

The first thing he had pulled out was their prom picture, which she had framed for him.

She looked like an angel.Especially when she found out I had been taking dance lessons for her.

All of his memories came flooding back as he unpacked more stuff, filling his apartment and overwhelming him.It was all too much for him, and that was when he decided to go to the Crashdown.A lot of good that did him.

_So this is strange,_

_our sidestepping has come to be _

_a brilliant dance_

_where nobody leads at all,_

_where nobody leads at all._

_ _

Michael was so deep in thought, he barely noticed when Liz climbed onto the porch and sat down across from him.

"Hello?Earth to Michael?Come back to me Spaceboy!"

When he gave her a stricken look, she realized what she had just called him.

"Sorry, I just...I'm an idiot," she said with an apologetic smile on her face.

"It's ok, you just took me by surprise."

"So, I can tell today's been tough.Do you want to talk about it?"

"Well, I'm here aren't I?"He took a deep breath."I'm going crazy without Maria."

"I know what you mean," Liz said as her eyes glanced at a picture of her and Max.

Michael saw her look at the picture and shook his head."It's more than that though.We have no clue where Maria is.I don't know if she's ok, or even if she's still alive!At least you still see Max."

"Yeah, that makes my life a whole lot easier," she snapped."God, I'm sorry.This is just the worst day."

"It's ok, I understand."

Liz noticed that Michael seemed a bit uneasy, even more so than usual.

"There's something you're not telling me, isn't there?"

And the picture frames are facing down 

_and the ringing from this empty sound_

_is deafening and keeping you from sleep._

_ _

"I'm not keeping anything from you.I just miss Maria, that's all," Michael said a bit too defensively.

"Nope.I'm not buying it.Something is definitely off in this situation."Liz studied his face carefully, looking for clues to what he was hiding.

He looked away from her.

"Michael, I know how much it hurts to keep secrets from those you love," she whispered, as tears welled up in her eyes.

Now it was Michael's turn to scrutinize her.She was definitely holding something big inside.

"All right," he said, "I'll tell you my secret if you tell me yours.After all, it helps to talk about stuff.You said so yourself."

He had her there.Maybe she could just tell him.It would make her feel better—

Then her would tell Max.

"I can't!" she cried out."It's too big, and you won't be able to keep this to yourself."

"Fine then, I'll go first, because I can't keep it inside anymore."

And breathing is a foreign task 

_and thinking's just too much to ask_

_and you're measuring your minutes_

_by a clock that's blinking eights._

_ _

"I know where Maria went."

Liz let out a tiny yelp.

"Where?How do you know?Since when?Is she ok?"

"I'm not sure where she is exactly, I just know she's in LA.That's why I'm so worried, because that doesn't narrow it down enough."

"Ohhhh..." Liz breathed out."Wait.You still haven't told me how you know this."

Michael sighed, "She came to see me the night before she left."

"What!?!" Liz screamed."Why didn't you stop her?"

"Well, we kind of got into a fight..." he mumbled.

Liz hit him upside the head.

"Hey!I did try and stop her though!I went to her house later and left her a letter.I know she took it, because it wasn't in her room the next day."

He told her all that he had written to Maria and where he left it.He told her about Amy coming over the next morning, and the hell that he had been through the past year.

"Oh Michael," Liz said as she hugged him."Feel better now?"

"A little, you should try it."

"I promised that I wouldn't," she sobbed into his shoulder."It would change everything, and I can't have that on my shoulders."

"Shhhh...don't worry.I won't tell anyone."

She looked at him sharply."Not even Max?"

"This is about him isn't it?"

She nodded sadly."Remember when slept with Kyle?Well, we didn't really do it."

Michael stared at her, obviously confused.

"See, a version of Max came back from the future using the Granolith.He told me that soon Max and I would grow closer, and Tess would become jealous and leave Roswell.But when the skins attacked, you three weren't as strong without her, and the skins were winning.Max said when he left, you and Isabel were already dead.I had to help him...fall out of love with me."

She continued on, telling him all that she had tried to do, finally resorting to the "sleeping" with Kyle plan.She told him how much it hurt to lie to Max, especially about something as huge as that.She told him how hard it was to see that her plan worked.

"I was supposed to marry him, Michael," she whispered.

"But don't you feel better now that you talked about it?"

She smiled, "I haven't felt this good since I told...well, since I told Maria."

Michael was surprised."She knew?"

Liz simply nodded.

"Wow," he said."Well, I better go see how Amy is holding up.She seemed uneasy this past week, probably because of today.But, hey, if you need to talk, I'm here."

"I'll walk you out," Liz said as she smiled brightly at him.

This is incredible. 

_Starving, insatiable, _

_yes, this is love for the first time._

_Well, you'd like to think _

_that you were invincible._

_Yeah, well weren't we all once_

_before we felt loss for the first time._

_Well this is the last time._

_ _

As Michael and Liz walked back into the Crashdown, they heard a song on the radio that made Michael stop dead in his tracks.

~Which of the bold faced lines will we use?

I hope you're happy,

you really deserve it,

this will be best for both of us in the end.

But your taste still lingers on my lips,

like I just placed them upon yours

and I starve for you.

But this new diet's liquid 

and dulling to the senses.

And it's crude, 

but it will do.

Which of the standard lines will we use?

I've been meaning to call you.

I've just been so busy.

We'll catch up soon.

Let's make it a point to.

But your taste still lingers on my lips

Like I just placed them upon yours

and I starve for you.

But this new diet's liquid 

and dulling to the senses.

And it's crude,

but it will do.~

"That sounded just like her," Michael whispered to Liz, barely holding back tears.

The disc jockey on the radio spoke:"That last one was the new hit single, 'Standard Lines', from breakout singer Maria Guerin.Her new cd will be out in stored next month."

_Does he ever get the girl?_


	3. The Places You Have Come to Fear the Mos...

Author's notes: song is still by Dashboard Confessional (so I'm obsessed, it's ok) I'll probably switch artists for the next 

Author's notes:song is still by Dashboard Confessional (so I'm obsessed, it's ok) I'll probably switch artists for the next few parts, but you're stuck with DC until I find a song that conveys where this is going

PS- Thanks soooo much for all of the feedback!!!!

_ _

_Buried deep as you can dig yourself, _

_and covered with a perfect shell, _

_such a charming beautiful exterior._

Laced with brilliant smiles 

_and shining eyes and perfect posture,_

_but you're barely scraping by, _

_but you're barely scraping by._

_ _

"Turn your head a little to the left Maria," the photographer said to her."Now look sad, not so much suicidal depressed, but I-just-lost-my-lover heartbroken."

That won't be too hard.After all, today's my anniversary: exactly one year since I left.

Maria did what she was told, but she continued to think about the importance of the day.She knew she was doing everything she had set out to do a year ago, but something was still missing.

Michael.Mom.Liz.Roswell.All of the above.

She couldn't give up now.Even though at one time, she would have given her life for Michael.But Michael didn't want anything to do with her.He made that clear the night before she left.He was probably perfectly fine without her, probably with somebody new.

Happy without me.

That was more than she could say for herself.She was as miserable now as she was when she left Roswell.No amount of success could change that.

"Maria!Pay attention!"

"Sorry..." she mumbled.

"Now turn to the right..."

_Well this is one time,_

_this is one time that you can't _

_fake it hard enough to please everyone_

_or anyone at all,_

_or anyone at all._

_And the grave that you refuse to leave_

_the refuge that you've built to flee_

_the places that you've come to fear the most,_

_is the place that you have come to fear the most._

_ _

Maria sighed as she collapsed onto her couch.It had been a long day, not to mention the fact that she couldn't stop thinking about Roswell.

I wonder if anyone has heard my song yet.

Her song.Or, more accurately, Michael's song.She had written every song on her album about him.

Will he even notice it?Will he know it's me?And will he know all the songs are for him?

She squeezed her eyes shut, fighting back tears.

And this day is not even close to being over. she thought bitterly.

_Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself, _

_and hidden in the public eye,_

_such a stellar monument to loneliness._

_Laced with brilliant smiles_

_and shining eyes and perfect makeup,_

_but you're barely scraping by,_

_but you're barely scraping by._

_ _

When she had first gotten to LA, she had been so scared and alone, she almost called home tons of times.But everyday got a little less scary, even though her heart didn't heal any.All she did in her spare time was write songs about Michael.

Then she started getting gigs, giving her less time to wallow in self-pity.Word of mouth spread about her, and soon she had record labels pounding down her door.It was more amazing than she had ever dreamed of.

But always in the back of her mind, she wished Michael were there to share her good fortune.At times, all of her success didn't even seem worth it without him, and Liz, and all of her friends. 

And then like that, she was signed, she had a record coming out, and the world was about to discover her music.

_Well this is one time,_

_this is one time that you can't_

_fake it hard enough to please everyone _

_or anyone at all,_

_or anyone at all._

_And the grave that you refuse to leave,_

_the refuge that you've built to flee_

_the places you've come to fear the most,_

_is the place that you have come to fear the most._

_ _

It wasn't her usual day or time, but Maria decided to make the call anyway.She had started calling right after she had sent the money to her mom.She couldn't resist.

"Mom?"

"Maria!What are you doing?It isn't out usual time.Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, I just really needed to hear your voice.And I couldn't wait until Sunday, because...well, because today makes it a whole year since I left."She barely managed saying so much through her tears.

"Shhhh...honey, I know.It's been hard for everyone.Especially Michael."

"Please, Mom."

"I know you don't want me to tell you about how he's been the last year, but I have to.He's miserable.I don't understand what happened between you two, but you should let bygones be bygones, and call him."

"I can't...I just can't."

"All right, whatever you say."

"Thanks."

"Oh, guess what honey!" Amy said, changing the subject.

"Hmmm?"

"I heard your song on the radio today!It's wonderful babe!I can't wait to hear the whole cd."

"I'll send you an advance copy.Just be careful not to flash it around just yet."

"Don't worry so much, Maria.After all, you're the one who called when just about anyone could be over."

"I know, I know.Ok, I've gotta go...places to go, people to see."

"I love you, Maria."

"I love you too, Mom."

Maria sank to the floor in tears.She wasn't sure if she could last another day away from Roswell.

Meanwhile, in the place Maria wanted to be the most, Michael Guerin snuck into Amy Deluca's house.He grabbed her address book, knowing now that she knew where Maria was.

_Does he ever get the girl?_


End file.
